TODAY'S DESPAIR | 절망감을 느꼈다.

절망감을 느꼈다.
절망감을 느꼈다. 

I work my butts off to ensure I earned my first degree based on my OWN sweat, blood and tears. I'm working my butts off knowing I'll be working using this cert to feed myself and families. I'm working my butts off to let parents do feel proud of me. I'm working my butts off to built what I am today. I'm eager for flying colors with a hope I can turn that so called educational-loan-ptptn-to-scholarship. But then I've failed I didn't get a flying colors every semester. But still it was okay, cause I knew I'm trying. I'm working my butts off with tears of losing my 23 years backbone, Arwah Mek. I am working my butts off so I can be a role model to my siblings. I'm way too tired to expressed my feelings. For the past month, I started my last struggle cause I knew this the only time I need to struggle. I didn't grumble that I doesn't even have a time to go for a simple date nor by not having enough rest or sleep. I don't even sighing by knowing all of this is called as RESPONSIBILITY. My responsibility mean it mine to bear and not others.  I didn't cheat during the examinations. I didn't plagiarist over other's work. I didn't take a credit for the work that I don't even lay a finger on it. I was been taught. I'm struggling to get through the hardest past so at the end I will be success out out my effort. I struggles because I do concern. I would never want to achieve a degree without any barakah in it.


Tell me, was a barakah in your cert if you are actually taking a credit over someone's works?
was it there?

As for today, I've lost in despair. No words can be expressed on how shitty I felt, like it was purposely done.  Have a mercy on others, easy to say and hard to do. Seeking for a best-est solution

 

COUSIN'S SOLEMNIZATION

Attended a family's occasion last 2 weeks for cousin's wedding. much update for future reading I guess.
WARNING : LOTS OF PICTURES

Helping out MAk Lang and the aunties handed out the "berkat"

Kelantanese called it Sisa

Me and the bride's bros a.k.a cousins. Way to tall

Me and Uda

Texting Bae

Me and cousin

Me and great granny

Runner of the day

Alhamdulillah, all praises is due to Allah SWT. 

The akad ceremony, berinai and the solomnization is went smoothly.

Another one down, way to go cousins. May Allah ease everything LOL

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NURAIN JUNG

Alhamdulillah, still breathing till this second. Celebrating birthday with dear self is even better. Makes me wonder the deeds and wrongs that I've ever done in my life. If I die tomorrow, will my deeds is enough to face Allah S.W.T ?

This year, during my birthday, Allah has been granted me a reward by giving me a musibah/ unfortunate things. The rock really hit me yesterday. And when you've hit the rock, there is no other options except to get up and built up the confidence again. Way to go girl.! Mak Long said this to me, "You been through things worst than this. Hold it a bit longer. Another 10 months to go"!!! That is how I regained my spirit.
24 years living in this world, I've been through unimaginable  childhood experiences. I depend on my two feet. I been hit up thousand million times, but I choose to wake up. All those experiences has made me to become a stubborn, tough and firm person, I made my life concern-decision basically on my own and not even bothered about people said about me, The joy and the pain I felt, I shared to Arwah Mek and after she passed away, I usually kept those feeling to myself.  Wake up and do things to change my fate. Being alive on my birthday today, make me remind all those things happened to me previously. How I take and ignored all the curses, how I put a side my pride and shame to asked one's help, being left by all those people I cherish the most, my intention being misinterpret by people and others. Told yaa' I've been through a lot. Despite that, I have all the uncles and aunties behind my back. Cheer up on me since I was 8 years old. Thanks fam!
I missed my backbone the most today, on my birthday. Arwah Mek. I'm longing for her hugs, advices and her voices cheer up on me, Healing the hurts I felt with her words and Allah's promises. Insyallah Mek, we will be reunite in hereafter. 
Dear self, you are on your own. Be strong, strive for what you have and ignored all those negatives vibes. Ignored the temporary pain for ultimate success later. 

throwback gambaq diploma.

정아인! 아인아! 어렸을 땐 부터 벌써 고생이 진짜 많다. 내가 너라서 너무나 뿌뜻하다. 오늘은 네 생일이지만, 그 나쁜 말을 신경 쓰지마. 쓰면 절대 안됨!!! 알았치??? ^^ 혼자서 살지만 하나님이가 항상 곁에 있는 거 절대 잊으면 안된다. 힘들어도 다시 일어나 줄 건지? 울지말고 식식하게 걷자 우리가. 네 옆에 글루 처럼 폭 보텨 있을게 아인아.
한 번 더 힘내라.
생일 축하해 정아인

p/s: Thanks for the do'a and wishes. Really appriciate it.

SWEET ESCAPE : KEMAMAN, TERENGGANU

My last weekend before end of semester well spent in Kemaman, Terengganu.  To be precise, we ( Me, parents and Arif, Cekti's fam & Ayah Ngah's fam) went there to pay a visit to Ayah Long. Ayah Long was involved in an accident last week. Alhamdulillah, he barely survives with no severe injured except for almost-broken ribs, swollen lungs and heart and few stitches in jaw and inner mouth. All praise is due to Allah S.W. T. Alhamdulillah.
A night before we went to Terengganu, Cekti kept texting me. Asking me to remind me to be punctual. They were about to depart Friday's morning right after dawn. Umi said, if Abah's condition is better in the next morning, we'll join them.  (Friday morning, 7.14am)
Angoh texted in the family group Whatsapp that they already start their journey to Kemaman and I was lying in bed. 
"Okay. They left already. I'm not going to Kemaman."
Laying around until 8.00am until I heard Umi asked Aiman to tell me to pack up caused we're going to Kemaman. Wakakakaka. We depart to Kemaman later  than the rest and not joined the convoy. Well, the journey was quite great as we took the highway. Cepat gila sampai. Around 1.50pm we arrived in Ayah Long's house, Haven't touch down in Kemaman for almost 9 years already made us puzzled in daze. Tediaaaaa. Kemaman was changed. Trust me

Lepas sampai tu, makan-makan then those cousins tried to make fun of us without knowing the fact that we already arrived in Kemaman. That was quiet hilarious.  We even took a picture of the scene, but since we weren't wore scarfs, so skip! 

Petang tu, Ayah Long, Ayah Ngah, Cekti, Umi, Abah and Cikyi pergi Pekan, Pahang untuk berubat. Aku pulak janji dengan Mena. Nak jadi cerita, aku send location through Whatsapp tapi dia bawak Mena sampai Center Point, So end up dia tunggu depan Astaka, ayah Long drop aku kat sana. Ehem. Not to mentioned  that I've gotten myself a pocket money from Ayah Long as well.

Aku dengan Mena spent time dekat Mesra Mall, tengok Mechanic. Lepas tu cari tempat makan punya azab, tau je la picky eater macam aku ni. Tempat tu tak syok, tempat ni suram. hahaha. Malam tu lalu jugak Sk. Seri Geliga, habih emooo lalu sekolah. Lalu all the way place where I was grown up. Sebak!

  Day 2 - At old Kemaman Bus Station. Masa ni lepas makan second breakfast, tengah tunggu Mak Cik Dayang. Make up all sponsored by Silky Girl. With the cousins and aunties feeling pre-wedding shoot tepi sungai Kemaman. 

Ni second outfit, masa aku pakai blouse turquoise tu Ayah Cik sakat wowoowwoowwo gitu. annoying then terus tukar,

Pay a visit to Nenek. alhamdulillah, she was fit and healthy despite being aged 72. She used to took care of me and the other 3 siblings. She remembered me clearly, called my name out loud and with full confident. Allah the Almighty still provide her with a good memories. It's a great feeling, meeting a person whom have been taking a good care of me ever since I was an infant.

Angah and Cikna

Next, we went to Cikgu Aina's house. She was never taught me during the primary school, but she was quiet close to me. so, we on!

Lunch day 2 at gerai Tepi Sungai. Famous jugaklah kedai ni sebab makanan dia memang banyak and serves seafood.  Not to mentioned seafood dia memang fresh from oven, Mula-mula aku refused untuk makan sebab kekenyangan makan nasi minyak, mee goreng, keropok lekor, satar, mocha and etc. Tapi Ciknah and umi insisted suruh aku makan jugak, cakap dah alang-alang sampai. So, aku makan juga sikit.

View padang Astaka. Berubah habis

Pejabat pos ni legend woihhh. Ni antara tempat yang tak berubah, Dari aku kecik, pejabat pos ni stay situ, pergi last week pun dia ada lagi. hehehe

Kemaman Clans mesti tahu tempat ni.SMK Chukai.

Main snow dalam kereta, arif amek gambar kita pula.

Nak conclude kat sini, pergi Kemaman last week tak sampai 48hours pun. But, all those memories fade in like it just happened yesterday. Meeting nenek is another blessing from Allah after Wan is passed away 2 weeks ago. Spending time with Mena also make me happy. That might be our last outing as bachelor before each one of us becoming someone else's soulmate. Future hubbies sekalian, please pay attention to this, We need a time out. 

I will never forget everything happened in ayah long's house that friday evening and the next morning. We spent time together, ate and joking around together. Thank you Allah for this blessing.

Alhamdulillah

p/s:  Tengah gather semangat untuk last sem. Dengan sistem gelong yang tak boleh  daftar subjects and new college system is giving me enough headache, Thumbs up UiTM

KOREAN FOOD REVIEW: SOOPONG

Few weeks ago, after mid term break, I made a promise to Hye Ju Eonni that I'll be meeting her. We met around 2pm at KLCC. I went to Suria KLCC with Oka. I first met Hye Ju Eonni at Petrosains. I was on my duty at Spark section when I heard someone talk in Korean language. I greeted her first and she seem surprise when I talk to her in Korean. We exchange numbers, keep sending messages through Kakao Talk and Whatsapp. That is how we start  the 언니-동생 relationship.
Okay, I need to explain here. I called the Korean sister as 혜주 언니( Hye Ju Eonni) which means Sis Hye Ju. I dropped the formal way to talk to 혜주 언니, but I still called her as 혜주 언니. Confused already?  HAHA. Mean while, the kids called me 아인 이모(Ain Imo) which mean Aunty Ain, and  오카 이모(Oka Imo). Imo and Ajumma carried different level of Aunt in Korean. Imo will be used for close aunt/ aunt by blood relationship (your parent's sibling) and when the situation is neccessary like you went to shop, make an aegyo while call the shop owner with Imo and ask her to give a discount. Serious talk. It happen all the time in Korea. 
The first son's name is Cho Seong Joon(초성준) and the youngest Cho Won Joon (초원준) They were siblings by 1 year apart.  

tudung basah weihhh. panas gila time ni.

tak faham motif gambar ni. Sebenarnya ni bas rapid KL, tapi aku tengok macam kami naik gajah dekat Bangkok. Pulunnnn letak jugak. 사진은 잘 나우테니깐 ㅎㅎ

Since, Oka and I arrive at Suria KlCC one hour earlier, we just mingle around Kinokuniya Bookstore. Ohhh! I can't get myself the rest of uncompleted series of Harry Potter collection because I already use the book voucher for the new hardisk. Henggg. 



At first, we haven't decided the place. Great. We met around 2.00 pm on saturday. Almost all restaurant and even food court spare us no space. Not at all.  Then we decided to try look up on KFC. That was the first time, Seong Joon and I had a skinship. Woahhhhh. sound like pervent already haaa? I was holding is right hand and he hold Oka's hand on the left. 

Spec version

Ni masa nak mintak budak ni pose, Allah! Stress aku.. Mata khusyuk tengok phone je, main game..

"우리 사진 같이 찍자"

( Let's take a picture)

"응. 이모, 짬깐만. "

(Imo, hold on)

10분 후에~~~

(10 minutes later)

"성준아! 빨이 찍자니까 -_-"

(Cepatlah!! *annoying pasai tunggu lama)

"그래"

(Okay)

without specs version

Frustrated 이모 couldn't get herself immersed in that f*c**** game

Psssss! Ada tokoh ke-ibu-an tak? Double slap on the face.
DUSH

in the middle of  being nagged because of the game!

He Smiled!!^^

Back ON the game, AGAIN

Yang ni, caption meroyan

This one come out with Tyrannosaurus theme~~

송민국 처럼, 공령 척 하는 종 우리 귀여움 막내 원준이. 성준이 그냥 아~~~ 했다

KIMCHI~~~

눈 어디 갔냐 ?ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Won Joon lost(?) his eye

혜주 언니랑 같이 찍었던 사진~~~

Oka and me with Hye Ju Eonni. Picture was taken by Seong Joon. Menci menci gambaq ni tiba-tiba aku gemuk melampau. %&*^#

얘는 막내 초원준. 재~~~~일 장난꾸러기 ㅋㅋㅋ

Trouble maker and prankster!!!

Korean instant/junk food

 Half of the food given by Hye Ju Eonni was non-halal, especially Chapagetti (Clearly has pork in the ingredients). Since neither me or Oka could eat it, I gave it to Gigi and Matilda instead. They were my classmate and they were christian. Woihhh. Bab ni tak boleh main-main. Nanti viral!!


Apart from that, we just want to ensure we'd only consume Halal food as required by Allah SWT.


We have a chat, Hye Ju guide me a lot in Korean and corrected up my mistake. Talking about the future plan and shinhwa's members. Rupanya kecik je dunia. Wakakaka. Around 5pm, we'd separated on our own ways. Won Joon gave me a peck on the cheek when Seong Joon just hugged me cat-cat shy. hehe. They went up yo Toy R Us and we went to Times Square.



IMPORTANT MISSION : FOOD HUNTING IN SOOPONG


I first noticed Korean restaurant named SOOPONG when I was doing my part time job as a baby sitter. I came to noticed it when I went to IOI City Mall, Putrajaya with my employer. I  went there because Ilyas wanted to ride a giant train, The restaurant offer more menu compare to other Korean Restaurant that I went to. Tapi yang paling penting, Soopong ada recognition of Halal from JAKIM. If ada psyco yang still nak doubt halal ke tak, kau boleh pergi mereput. Ingat JAKIM tu boleh simply nak keluarkan Halal recognition ke? Please, don't ever be religion extremist tahap yang membencikan. I'll update my point of view regarding gosami and Samyang's issue once I'l be in a home.



This is the entrance of Soopong in Times Square credit: google

Wefie is a must! We arrived there around 6pm. It quite hectic because there is fan meeting of Korean boy band  name 24/7. Frankly speaking, I don't even know their existence. haha. People running here and there to chase them and we was like asking to each other.
"ain, sapa 24/7 tu?"
"Ntah. tak kenal"
"ohhh"
"Oka, tah-tah nanti kita makan, 24/7 lalu depan kita"
and guess what? They really passed right in front of us!!!

Tapi tak teruja pun pasai aku tak kenal pun dorang!!!
konon tak teruja even tanda seru banyak kat belakang. wakakaka

Tedia. parut perry jerawat adik beradik dia semua keluaq wehhh.

`

Actually, kami kebulur sebenarnya, even baru lepas makan burger dengan ayam KFC yang Hye Ju Eonni belanja,  EHH, Hallooo! Kami gerak dari KLCC ke Times square tu tau, Ingat tak penat ke? Masa ni lepas place order. Adalah dalam 40~50 keping dok main selpiaqqq dalam tu. 

Review aku: First of all. Design. quiet entertaining even the environment was not rea~~~~`lly korean. What do you expect? The table almost packed and we sat near to the kitchen. Fortunately, the view and decoration save the neck. Picture's quality wasn't great because we use fish eye lens to capture almost the entire sorrounding.

Menu : Quite appetizing! Since we're starving and the restaurant was hectic we didn't manage to capture the menu. Sorry for those come with hope that we're having the price list along with the menu. Sorry again. Next time will done, yaaa!

Ni Cheese toppokki. Serious ni sedap. Seriously recommended! For me, almost Korean dish looks like it was serves only in a small portion. Fear not people, it is actually wasn't serves as what you're imagined. We shared this and we didn't manage to eat it all.  

Banchan or side dish. Korean cuisine wasn't complete without banchan. It comes in variety.  The cucumber pickle and kimchi will always be my ultimate favorite. The middle banchan 

is the combination of macaroni and cabbage and I don't like the taste. It just weird. Just like makan pizza cicah dengan budu (?). Puked! The kimchi somehow just 딱 내 style. It has a strong  chili paste and shrimp paste savory. I could taste the shrimps in the kimchi and I'm a bit worry I will kena the allergic. Nasib baik owner dia kata dia tak letak shrimp extract. Dia guna fish sauce.

This one is Dalsott Bibimbap. I forgot the price. Next update will do nayyy.

That day, I drank this grape juice price RM4~5. It's great. Real grapes in the juice. Oka ordered ais lemon tea, maybe.

The dish's name is Ttuekbaegi Bulgogi Beef 

Cheese tteokpoki in action. Favorite nih. Every Korean house aku pergi, mesti order ni. Kalau sedap. aku assumed semua dishes kat kedai tu pun best. wakaka.

pun boleh kan. 

Percubaan nak bagi Korea flag enter-frame.

Flag bahayaaaaa weh *referring to Fany's issue*

Tersuka gambar ni sebab somehow nampak kurus hahhahahaha

*Gelak keji *

p/s : Article berkurun on draft. nak edit pun berzaman. Tak tau lah macam mana nak buang kikis malas dalam diri. Tengah stress pasal kena paksa pergi Kemaman khamis ni.tamau tamau tamau. meluat. kbye!!!